… We’ve exhausted all your options. Chris and I went back to our doctor and that’s what the verdict was. So, where do we go from here? Well, I have been leaving some details of our story out. I apologize because some things might be TMI (too much information) but it’s a critical part of our story so I thought I would be honest. Things haven’t been easy for me physically for a while now. I have experienced some pretty horrendous menstrual cycles and basically fertility was a now or never thing for us. I felt as though I needed to try every option we were willing to do before succumbing to what I knew was coming. Well, we went to our doctors office earlier this month. It was for a surgical consult. Knowing in your mind that you know surgery was inevitable was okay to deal with, but hearing “we’ve exhausted all your options” is something else to HEAR. After unexpectedly crying my eyes and coming to grips with my reality, a decision has been made. December 7th, I will be having a hysterectomy. Yes, I am 30 years old and I’m getting a hysterectomy. Basically, I’ve been in and out of the doctor monthly for pain management, bed rest, back issues, along with all my fertility appointments… all attributing to some pretty major health issues dealing with my womanly issues. I am keeping my ovaries so that will be nice. At least I won’t be 30 and on hormone supplements. The doctor wanted to have the surgery as soon as possible. But, my brother is getting married in a few weeks and being out of commission for his wedding isn’t an option for me. Then, I have a pretty major event at work that I can’t miss- so Dec. 7th is the date. I’m just hoping that I won’t end up at the doctor in the next two months with issues. For now, I will remain confident I can make it until Dec. 7th. Heck, if i’m not positive about the situation, who will be? ? Plus, it’s kinda my thing! So, if any of you want to come visit me, I will be out of work for four weeks and on restrictions for 6 weeks, if everything goes according to plan. During that time, I will be chilling at my house so I encourage visits, good book recommendations, Netflix marathons, and general good vibes. I consider this whole situation very bittersweet. It’s sad and a little nerve-wrecking about the surgery itself (send my hubby some support because it’s pretty nervous about the whole procedure!) BUT I know that the pain and issues will be resolved. I am also closing a chapter on fertility. People don’t have any idea the complications with fertility. First off, the weight gain. It’s totally a self-esteem, self-confidence issue when you work out, eat healthy, and you still gain weight in a pretty visible way. I’m a pretty confident girl, but it still rattled my cage in a big way. Not going to lie, the increase in boobage was pretty awesome, but all the other weight was a bit of a buzzkill. Also, by this point, you know I have been a the doctor pretty dang regularly for multiple issues. EVERY time I went to any of my doctors, I had to take a blood test and pregnancy test, to be safe. Do you know how many times I got poked and peed in a cup or on stick?!? It was ridiculous! It’s also pretty disappointed that every time that happened I had to pretty realistic about the outcome. I knew the chances were against that any of the tests were going to come back as a positive pregnancy test, but I still always had little gut feeling of hope, that ONE of those tests MIGHT come back positive. But alas, we all know that didn’t happen. So, I guess Dec. 7th will live in infamy for more than one reason for the Hornicks. But as always, please know I am staying positive about this whole journey and process. I have a great support system that has been incredible. So I will leave you with a couple things.

1. Judd Hoos happens to be playing at the Loud on Saturday, Dec. 5th– Join me for a pre-surgery night out. I plan on laughing a lot, dancing a lot, and having a few dang delicious drinks with friends.

2. Our journey isn’t over. We are just taking the road less traveled. Stay tuned because we have embarked on a new journey. So new, different blogs are on their way. BECAUSE— Chris and I are getting licensed to be foster parents. If we can’t make more of our own children to love, we will love on children that are in need of more love.

SO….Stay tuned for more blogs. Blogs about being a foster family!