Career or Calling? It’s a question that has been weighing heavy on mind for a couple years now. After much meditation and yoga… the answer was clear. Calling. I am leaving my life of full-time employment and focusing my efforts on the lives that are coming through my doors… my foster children, my husband and my daughter. No, i’m not going to be a stay-at-home mom. I’m an extrovert, if you keep me at home… I will become someone NO one wants in their lives. I will be in the market for a part-time job. So if you know of one, keep me in mind. ?

Anyways- back to the subject-  I’ve been on a quest of soul-searching and balance only to find out that the answer was in front of me. The impact I was trying to make in the work place, the change I was advocating for and the passion that drives me was within me and was in front of me the whole time. I was being blinded by the notion that a career was the most important thing… not realizing that making an impact in a child’s life was so far greater and helping these children realize their value, their worth and their love- it’s what makes the difference in MY life. A career is a path and being a foster parent is a journey.

I find myself wanting to tell our story about being a foster family to everyone I meet. I want to share the struggles and exclaim from the rooftops, the pure joy we are able witness to every day. The day after I resigned, I wept at home. After making peace with myself and in my heart, it truly hit me. I am unable to have any more children, yet I am able to be “mama” to so many. I never thought I would be Mama to anyone but Lucy… but right now, I have three babies that wake me up every morning exclaiming MAMA! Imagine the feeling… being told you would never be able to do something… then to turn around a year later and not only have it happen once… but three times. Oh universe, you leave me gifts of surprise and gratitude when I least expect it.

I have developed relationships with some of my foster children’s families. I’ve seen the struggle. I’ve seen parents make the most unselfish, heart-wrenching decisions regarding their parental rights. More importantly, I’ve seen kids come into our house with nothing but the clothes on their backs, no hope in their hearts,  no food in their bellies and struggle with the notion they are worthy of being loved. I’ve seen those kids start to trust, want to be cuddled, call me Mama and share their giggles with me. I’m seeing before my very own eyes, this transformation of them turning  back into children. Children that had never been trick-or-treating before, been on an Easter egg hunt, or ever been sledding. I’m seeing the amazing ability of a child having the chance to be a kid. I’m the lucky one in this whole process. I get to see this whole new life and this whole new experience through their eyes.

So,  needless to say,  I am taking my career-train picking it up off its tracks and moving it onto another track. It’s a track that is completely unknown and perhaps not even built yet. It’s a scary, unknown track. Career or calling? I believe my calling is to share my love and my life with children that need it… and right now, it’s time for me to do that.